can't sleep.....so stress.....nono.....not stress, more like scared?? why should i be scared?? i really don't know!!!!!! tell me why!

tmr have school again...arhhh!!!! im supposed to like school, i think. i guess, maybe....i like it....a little........jus a little.

i think all this while i have not been thinking right....thats why im so confused....i don't know what i'm doing, what i'm saying......because i didnt understand! but now i know.....and i feel..........quite shocked....and a little amused.......and scared? and......i still feel lost........

i'm writing all these down bcos i don't want to forget!!! sometimes i can forget why i am feeling sad, or angry, or scared.....brain not working properly..

nvm........

pictures!!!










my pink music stand!!!!! so nice!!! hehe.......and the funny gingerbread man my sis brought home from work!! i ate the hand!!! muhaha..

and also, my cactus and remy........=( now in heaven...........

long post......2 + now.......5 hrs to sleep.....quite good.....but still not enough....my fault for not sleeping early.........i think i regret it now....

good night!!!!!!!

i hope tmr and everyday starting from tmr will be better, and i must hang on..........and i will do my best .............to cope

so sad!! my hamster died today. Yesterday he already looked ill....his usual big eyes were small and he was so thin...today i went out wif my mama, and when i came back, he was lying on my sister's hand and could hardly move!!! i feel so heartbroken!

he kept gasping for breath too....after while he died. me and my sis went out to bury him....jus below our house....buried him, and left a stick there as a tomb.

first is mr cactus, now remy!!!! *watery eyes* bad year!!! hope next yr will be better ar.....

btw i bought a pink music stand!!!!! it's so nice!! :D my mom bought it for me!! yay....i'll upload the pictures when i can find the camera charger...:)

AHH!!!!!! i dropped my violin!!! omg...........*heartbroken*

my poor violin!! luckily it's still in one piece.......the bridge fell off. i fixed it le......and i tune the strings to cello pitch!!! haha....

last week ying and me went to gramercy to buy the grade 5 books for our students........we couldn't find the last song.....there was a sale at gramercy!!!! 10% off the cellos!!!! wow!!!! i saw a really nice cello case.......it's blue.......it's very unique!! cost around 700+.....i asked my mom to let me buy, but she said no =(

oh! and i saw a really small cello!!!!!! it's really small, like thrice the size of a violin............my cello is 5 to 6 times bigger than a violin O_O and......i wanted to buy the cello stand.......and the children music stand....it's colorful.....nice......!! i want to buy the dance rustique music score too.......so many things i wan to buy.....jialat........better not go to gramercy anymore......

but........i really want the blue cello case....it's so pretty.....hahax.....hmm...maybe i'll work during the holidays.....then i can have money to buy it!! =D but my mother definitely wont let me buy it..... :(

got to go.....take care.......

i jus woke up...i dreamt of my poly frens jus now......so strange....the dream isn't strange, but the feeling is. hahax....it's so real!! omg....i woke up and i tot it's time to go to school!!!! then i jumped out of bed....O_O i jumped from my double decker bed!!! omg.....XD

im so tired.....i think i heard my dad playing my violin while i was sleeping. hahax....jus now i was locked out of my house!! i came back and had no key to open the door....my father inside, but he sleeping.....then i call and ring the doorbell but he couldnt wake up T.T the SUDDENLY....i realise that the key is in my bag......ARghhhhhcisdcsdcl!!! T_T

cant blog anymore....got to do work!!! princess jus assigned me work to do....! cannot defy her orders.....lol....

byebye:(

happi depavali!! hehe....

im watching my brother play wii.....so funny.......hahax......he's playing mario galaxy!!!! i wan to play too =( but i've got so many work to do.....i'll never get any work done becos i keep watching him play and also, i'm addicted to youtube......T.T

school is better now.....but still got some problems. makes me don wan to go school.....

lol.....mario galaxy is so funny!!!! mario runs so funny....

ARHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh im so stress!!!!!!

anyway christmas is coming!!! yay........happy..........=)

happi birthday to my father!!

went to eat swensens wif my dad and mom today! my mother keep choosing wad she wan to eat! nv let my dad choose...haiz...she always like tt one...we eat the free icecream, and salmon baked rice, and 2 spaghetti...my dad hardly eat..i think he very unhappy there ba. my mother choose all those got free item one....or got promotion one...nv choose wad my dad wan to eat....:(

jus now i went to the kitchen, then saw my dad playing hula loop. LOL! so funni....he play awhile then sweat alot....the hula hoop keep falling down one... xD he tell mi about controlling our food intake...hahax..then after that i went to do jap. then did programming for awhile..

no mood to study.....feel like sleeping in class too....dun like school...but working is worse. arhh..i feel so not confident in school....why.....

went to watch "The last breath" wif my mom. it's a korean show....never ever watch korean horror movies!!!! always no meaning one.....and dun understand one...haha!! but the love shows is nice.....i like the part where the ghost grin at her daughter. it's so scary!!!!!

got to go sleep :( have to wake up at 6 tmr. haiz...i jus want to sleep ...